Two Dirty Little Poems

The following poems were presented at Jersey City Writers’ literary event – 800 Dirty Words. Please enjoy.

The Pussy not Eaten
(aka The Road not Taken)


Two pussies bared like delicious food
I’m sorry I could not dine on both
I am but one horny dude
I salivate, but I’m not so crude
To eat two pussies with just one mouth

So, I eye one, then the other
The one that is in a frailer frame
The lips are tightly held together
Waiting for me to wetly smother
The hood unraveled, without a shame

The second one is shaved so clean
I could use it as a canvas, Lord!
My tongue a brush, my teeth would glean
Many a picture, on the labia unseen,
To stop the world without a word.

So, I look at both, and then I frown.
Dear God, why do you test me so?
My love for pussies is quite well known
White or black, yellow or brown
I’ll chase a pussy, wherever I go

Waking up beside You on a Horny Morning
Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening)


Whose pubes these are I think I know.
They peek from under the covers though;
Will they see me drooling near
Feel me gently sniff and blow?

My turgid dick says – do not fear
You can surmount this bushy barrier
More alluring the snatch they make
Like a lion’s mane so cavalier

I give the curls a twitch, a shake
In delicate jousting we partake
Glistening moisture starts to seep
The aroma nostalgic of a coffeecake.

Your pubes are swirly, thick and deep,
With a curling iron for their upkeep –
Till I straighten them I will not sleep
O’ Till I straighten them up I will not sleep


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